U C D V?

The five and six year olds were so excited about building their own palaces of Wali Dad that I couldn't get their attention. I wanted them to fold their pieces of tag board in half, open them again with the spine/crease up, and fold the two ends to meet at the center. If you fold up the tag board and look at it edge on, you will see a V-shape, and then a W.

Regaining the students' attention often requires a weirdness factor. If I just speak louder, all that happens is the noise level and my blood pressure rise. I've never had good luck with the Clap-Clap-clap-clap-clap class signal, and turning off the overhead lights communicates a level of teacher desperation, not control.

That's why weirdness works best for me, although some would say it's just doin' a what comes naturally. Start wearing a paper hat, and kids get curious. Start directing an incoming 747 on the tarmac with two tp tubes, or tap kids gently with my magic wand, and they get curious. Start pantomiming the next step in the project, and they realize the teacher is from another planet*. Start singing, and I scare the children, so that's out for me. Start dancing, and I can usually get the class back with me, although it's not a pretty sight. Then start speaking in fangy Transylvanian, faux French, or Muppets Swedish Chef, and they are eating out of my hand. Putting a Buddy Holly cassette in the tape player and playing air guitar is good, too.

Monday was the first time I ever started writing in secret code. William Steig's classic book, CDB flashed into my mind, and I wrote "U C D V?" on the dry-erase board. A couple kids started to sound out the word. (Go ahead and try it. Sounds like a kid trying very hard not to be carsick.) I shook my head no, and pointed to one letter at a time. More kids were noticing. I started silently demonstrating with the folded tag board. V. V. V... Moved on to demonstrating the next fold like a flight attendant for the hearing-impaired.

U C D W?

O S, I C D W!

To William Steig, I have to say, "N Q!"

And now, at the end of the day, "I F-N N-E N-R-G".


*Some say men are from Mars and women are Venutians, but I think teachers have to be from Saturn with the spinning rings. I'm not the only person who compares teaching to the man with the spinning plates on the Ed Sullivan Show.

C N-E?