Robots, babies, and proof

What is real?  What has value? What is pre-wired? What is learned? What is hacked? Where are the authorities? Who decides what's authentic? What requires bifocals? ... Hearning aids?

When we pull the cloth out from under the silver and china why is there no table?

I'm on a non-fiction reading kick.  This week I'm tackling Modris Eksteins's Solar Dance, and finding much for rumination. Could be, though, the grass is AstroTurf.  Or the grass could be half-empty. Or the cow might have a stomach porthole:

 In Modris Eksteins’s hands, the interlocking stories of Vincent van Gogh and art dealer Otto Wacker reveal the origins of the fundamental uncertainty that is the hallmark of the modern era.

Wacker's forged Van Goghs did much to popularize the artist's work, and to drive the prices skyward--the faux promoting the genuine. We live in a world of designer knock-offs and bootlegs, where the genuine promote the faux. As happened at Wacker's trial and appeal, the testimony of "experts" got so convoluted it seemed the faux genuine was promoting the genuine faux.  Say, is that a real fake Rolex?

 Behind our daily life skitters a  backdrop of doubt.  We need to check for security updates and run scans.  Our suspicious outlook could be our only salvation.

This morning I listened to an NPR segment about people teaching a robotic baby to talk.  This evening I'm unable to convince the same online story that I am not a robot myself.  I flunked two visual robot tests, then attempted my first ever audio robot challenge. Ouch.  I did much worse sorting and typing the audio robot quiz words amidst the babble. I'm pretty sure I got "fried egg", "Sunday", "rectangle", and "scissors", but that was inadequate.

Coworkers and friends send me email links in the middle of the night. Don't they have to be at work at 8:30?  Why are they up so late? Didn't I just see them yesterday? How could they have already lost their passports and need me to wire them money? Their addresses are not their own.

And you, too. You aren't real. Symantec said so, so it must be so. You must be very popular! Norton will not let me into any of your blogs. Maybe it's a fake Norton protecting me from the real McCoy.

Fraudulent Web Page Blocked You attempted to access: http://kathleenkirkpoetry.blogspot.com/ This web page is a known fraudulent web page. It is recommended that you do NOT visit this page. For your protection, this web page has been blocked. Visit Symantec to learn more about phishing and internet security.  Well, it is Sunday morning now. The world is washed clean. Your web pages are no longer fraudulent. The experts have spoken.  And they said, "Danger, Will Robinson!" © 2012 Nancy L. Ruder

The Three Rs...

Relax reading book reviews!

What a lovely day at the library reading nonfiction book reviews from recent issues of the Wall Street Journal--and even getting paid to do it! If I had all the time in the world to read, I would find these books at my library. Not having that luxury, I recommend reading these book reviews. They piqued my curiosity. A well-written book review informs the reader about the subject of the book. It also critiques the author's writing, research, bias, and conclusions. A really excellent review brews the synopsis and evaluation with some spicy writing to make a quick and potent shot of intellectual salsa.

Buyology: Truth and Lies About Why We Buy, by Mark Lindsrom. WSJ review by Andrew Stark. While "neuromarketing" has an Orwellian aspect, it is intriguing to learn how marketers are using MRI brain scans. Those cutesie-wutesie Mini Cooper cars actually trigger the part of our brains that responds to human faces. That's why you want to call Minis "iddle widdle wuzzums".

Lili Marlene, by Liel Leibovitz and Matthew Miller Norton. WSJ review by Daniel Ford. The review explains briefly how a poet's synthesis of two experiences in WWI impacted troops on both sides during WWII.

Vertigo Years: Europe 1900-1914, by Philipp Blom. WSJ review by Arthur Herman. It's unlikely I could actually read this book, but I love reviewer Herman's phrase, "the economics of panicky elites," and his hints at parallels to the current financial situation.

Righting the Mother Tongue: From Olde English to Email, by David Wolman. WSJ review by Cullen Murphy. Wonderful eccentrics have tried to reform English spelling over the centuries. Now spell-check, email, and text-messaging are changing our orthography habits for good or evil.


© 2008 Nancy L. Ruder

Lightbulb joke

How many emails does it take to run a marathon?

I can only begin to fathom the number of emails, telephone calls, text messages, faxes, and old-fashioned face-to-face meetings it takes to organize a marathon race like Sunday's Wellstone's Dallas White Rock Marathon. As a tiny cog in the big wheel doing the advance organization for one aid station, I have amassed 330 emails in my "Running " file. Know I discarded many messages in the past month or so, but didn't have time to sift the rest of the keepers from the ones that can be deleted.

For every runner out hitting the road for training miles at five a.m. there's likely a race volunteer hitting the send button on an email at five a.m. to make the race happen!

© 2007 Nancy L. Ruder

Texas Railroad Commission

Tx.rr.com is the email address for users of Time Warner Cable's Roadrunner system in North Texas. Last summer Time Warner took over all the Comcast internet service systems around North Texas. Time Warner promised to make the changeover pleasant and user-friendly. Right.


Time Warner hopes to ease pain of shift
Comcast e-mail clients will feel the transition most of all, exec says
08:09 AM CDT on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 Dallas Morning News

Comcast had a very usable email format. Time Warner's is primitive by comparison, and trying to use rich text instead of plain text is SOOOOOO SLOW. The changeover has me feeling like Snidely Whiplash tied me to the railroad tracks.

As my email correspondents have been booted over to Roadrunner, I keep staring at their email addresses and wondering when they went to work for the Railroad Commission. We are all looking at other options for internet and email. None of us are pleased about being tied to Time Warner.

Baby Jeff and Baby Katie

Sometimes I get mixed up. I sort e-mails into my Trash bin instead of into my Recycling folder. Maybe I should rename the Recycling folder "Condo Waste Diversion". Then Trash could be called "Deep Six".

These days I push wheely recycling carts around the condo complex. Recalling a hot day in 1983 or '84 when my college buddy and I pushed our stroller babies around the UNL campus. How did Baby Jeff and Baby Katie become grad students?? They were just playing in the red wagon, and out in the inflated wading pool!

Dream messages

In my dream, and I sure hope it was a dream, I received an email with all the html code showing. The email told me I had to be at the Meyerson Symphony Center at 1 p.m. to pick up the ticket for the symphony, and the intermission would be at three....Trouble was it was already 1:30. If I didn't go to the 1 p.m. performance, the email said I had to go to the performance tomorrow night that starts at 8 p.m., but doesn't end until 1 a.m. That was just part of the dream, which was very stressful since I had to wear a power suit to a luncheon with some big wigs, and I had to switch all my purse junk into a new red purse.

In some ways it might be nice to get dream messages that were as clear cut as an email saying "You have to go to __________ by _______ o'clock today. Carry the red purse!" Instead we have to sift and weigh many layers of symbols to get a hint of possible meaning and direction.

Library Junkie

I am in the UNM Student Union at the e-mail station. It is beautiful in Albuquerque today, about 70 degrees. After I visited the Anthropology Museum, I walked over to the Zimmerman Library. Once a library junkie, always a library junkie! UNM is between sessions so the library is closed. I could see into a huge, old-fashioned reading room with rows and rows of dark wood study tables and chairs. Walking around campus I passed two weddings being held in the beautiful surroundings. The UNM campus has lots of pine trees and fountains, stunning glimpses of the Sandia Mountains between the adobe buildings. Having lots of college days flashbacks, but UNL didn't have mountains!

It's a sickness

For approximately an hour and a half I've been unable to access either of my email accounts. I can't get to Hotmail at all, and my PeoplePC account in Outlook Express absolutely refuses to send or receive messages. It is always annoying and uncooperative, but now it seems to have taken a vicious dislike to me. Reminds me of a hamster the kids used to have...

I was trying to find out about The Claw that has appeared on the grocery carts at Albertsons in our suburb so that many enquiring homemakers could rest easier. I wanted to contact Al's at

albertsonscustomercare@albertsons.com, but NO!.

I wanted to email the Glenn Mitchell Show, gms@kera.org on KERA, 90.1, which features "Anything you ever wanted to know", but NO!

Evil hamster email refuses to run in its little wheel...

Not one to let minor setbacks interfere with my ever-sunshiny disposition, I set to work, like the Little Red Hen, to find out all by myself. I have learned a great deal about the past and the future of grocery carts. I have been inspired by tales of Sylvan N. Goldman, a Latvian Jew who emigrated to the U.S., to my old OKC, and patented the grocery cart in 1938. When my kids were little we used to visit the Omniplex Museum in Oklahoma City, where there was an exhibit about this invention that changed American life. [There are some really fun places to visit with kids in OKC, and I'll put a link over there -------> on the right. The Forty-fifth Infantry Museum is terrific. I'll put a link for the history of the grocery cart, too, with funny old photos.]

In my high school days, oh those many years ago, we used to listen to LPs of The Firesign Theater. The details are a bit foggy, but I do remember a line saying, "The future's not here yet!" But in Israel it is:

‘Smart Shopping Carts’ Could Be Coming to a Supermarket Near You
Wireless technology is now moving into the supermarket, making the drudgery of grocery shopping with its dreaded checkouts a distant memory.
One of Israel’s largest supermarket retailers Blue Square Ltd. has introduced the supermarket Smart Cart, with a POS system, promising to make grocery shopping a breeze.

"This cutting-edge technology, which we are implementing for the first time anywhere, will lead to a true revolution in retail culture," Yoram Dar, Blue Square’s president and CEO, told RetailTech. "The fundamental concept behind the Smart Cart is simple and focused: to enable the greatest possible shopping convenience by eliminating checkout lines."

Designed by Buy Pass Ltd., an Israeli startup, the supermarket cart is equipped with an embedded scanner, computer terminal and a display screen that lists all of the cart’s contents, along with a running total of purchases.

As the shopper moves from aisle to aisle, picking up items and placing them in the cart, they are constantly informed of their total purchases as well as of any special offers. If an item is removed, a new total is automatically calculated.

Mr. Dar said that the Smart Cart will help the company reduce operating expenses while enhancing customer service.
(Additional Source RetailTech)

Alas, I still don't know if I'll be able to get my email. If I can't I may become overwrought. Once, when I was an overworked, under-appreciated homemaker, the plastic grocery bag broke as I lifted it from Mr. Goldman's cart. The gallon of milk crashed to the parking lot, spraying me, and flowing off down the hill. I became overwrought, and I released the empty grocery cart and let it also crash all the long, loooonnnnggg way down the hill to Custer Road. The moment had a zen-like slow-motion, blue-light-special effects quality, with the "Chariots of Fire" theme playing in the background. It was a very freeing moment. The evil email hamster should take note.

Still don't know about The Claw, but I'm thinking about writing a horror movie screenplay.

Miraculous New Year's Weight Loss

In just two hours I was able to decrease the size of my email account by half! Yes, one resolution accomplished already.

My dear college men:

You are about to embark on a grand adventure, but be sure to wear flip-flops in the shower so you don't get foot fungus! There is much to be said for independence, freedom, self-determination, cooperative living, and partying on. There is nothing to be said for foot cooties. What are your ideas about a shower caddy for hauling personal hygiene products to the potties (I can't help it if I teach preschoolers) There are some small buckets in the shed. Try to stock up at your dad's on shampoo, soap, hayfever medicine, ramen noodles, envelopes, stamps, vitamins, Tylenol, phone cards, detergent, deodorant, LOTS of deodorant!

You are welcome to take any towels and washcloths from upstairs EXCEPT the navy blue ones. Please check with me about blankets, but you are welcome to most of them. You can take ALL the Christmas coffee mugs, and it would be a great relief to me if you did. You are welcome to the icky silverware. I would be glad to show you what qualifies. I don't want any of this stuff back, ever! I have dreamed of this day for years.

Please sell off some role-playing books and card collections before you leave, or else store them in your dad's attic. The same goes for non-classic sci-fi books, and free weights.

I think you should take your suits and dress clothes for interviews and convocations. Do you need a refresher course on ironing?

I need all your dorm address and phone info, and your roommate's name. You do not have to like your roommates, but you do have to be respectful and pleasant. Set clear boundaries. Expect the same from them. Ask yourself, "How important is it?," when they leave their used dental floss on your desk. It's just like being brothers, really, and you have a lot of experience with that. If they bring a pet turtle and smuggle canned veggies from the cafeteria to feed it, you might be able to get a new roommate. It is not okay to make them eat their Moody Blues album. I speak from experience here.

I will continue to pay for your gas, especially if you are driving to a job! I will try to pay for your cell phone for awhile, but we will have to see how that goes. Try not to use it as your primary communication device.

Take the Zout and Shout! Remember, the longer dirt and sweat stay in clothes, the less they wash out! Composting is not the answer to your wardrobe needs. Somehow this reminds me that you may want to register to vote in your new town, or apply for absentee ballots!

Make sure you have all your health insurance information and cards from Dad. I can make copies of your immunization record if you need that. Remember you are both allergic to Ceclor.

Turning yourself blue with fabric dye can make you sick. If you must tattoo or pierce yourself, make sure it will never be visible to your mama or any potential employer. If you are going to do weird things with your hair, get it out of your system soon. If you are going to get religion or become a vegetarian, please expect a lukewarm response. Avoid box-cutters and gambling on football games.

Remember that I love you!!! Email me every week so I don't worry. When I worry, I call very, very early on Sunday mornings. I am so proud of you both. The world is lucky to have you on board.


Mom