Childhoods of Mediocre Americans

A girl and  her needle-nose pliers : a biography for young readers / by CollageMama.

This week I unjammed my document shredder with those needle-nose pliers.  Pretty pleased with myself.  True, if I didn't feed peculiar materials for worm compost bedding and/or mixed media collages into the machine it would work better. Then the diamond-cut shredder at work jammed, and I applied my new expertise and a liberal dose of shredder lubricant to the task.

I don't have a team of rivals or the art of power. Young kids have many over-achieving role models, with or without steroids. The first time a child gets a happy face sticker for folding his/her nap blanket, we are pondering future greatness. Never mind that blanket folding has not been accompanied by a reduced amount of digital nasal exploration, or a remembrance of things to be flushed, but I digress.

In Mrs. Ahlschwede's third grade class we read the Bobbs Merrill "Childhoods of Famous Americans" formulaic biographies.  Then we recorded the titles on lined 3x5 notecards in our very best new cursive handwriting.  Abigail Adams and Jane Addams were dull, depressing books, but I kept working my way through the alphabet picking up reading speed and comprehension.  When I was plucking books off the shelf it seemed that every female was either rolling hoops down cobble streets or wearing hoop skirts.  I couldn't even hula hoop.

Fast forward to Bernie Madoff : Young Ponzi Schemer.  I'm evaluating subtitles for my new series of deadly dull early reader chapter biographies. 

• : Crockpot Girl of Old Nebraska
• : Finder of Lost Fisher Price Chickens
• : Hot Glue Sharpshooter
• : Sight of Blood Fainter
• : Young Letter Writer 
• : Future Blogger
• : Chex Mix Maven

I've never tried to insert an Excel document into a blog before. These are the 180 titles I've compiled so far for the Bobbs Merrill series, Childhoods of Famous Americans. Perhaps it will save some other obsessed person a long search.  Or it will suggest a new subtitle. Abigail Adams A Girl of Colonial Days Jean Brown Wagoner 1961 Adams, Abigail John Quincy Adams Boy Patriot  Anne Weil Adams, John Q. JANE ADDAMS,  Little Lame Girl  Addams, J Louisa Alcott Girl of Old Boston  Jean Brown Wagoner Alcott, Louisa John Alden Young Puritan Olive W. Burt Alden, J Ethan Allen  Green Mountain Boy  Gertrude Hecker Winders Allen, Ethan Susan Anthony Girl Who Dared Helen Albee Monsell Anthony, S Louis Armstrong,   Young Music Maker Dharathula Millender Armstrong, L John Jacob Astor Boy Trader Dorothy S. Anderson Astor, J Crispus Attucks Boy of Valor Dharathula Millender Attucks, Crispus YOUNG AUDUBON Boy Naturalist Audubon, John James P.T. Barnum Circus Boy Augusta Stevenson Barnum, P Clara Barton Girl Nurse Augusta Stevenson Barton, Clara ELIZABETH BLACKWELL Girl Doctor Joanne Landers Henry 1949 Blackwell, Elizabeth Daniel Boone Boy Hunter Augusta Stevenson Boone, Daniel Jim Bowie,   Boy with a Hunting Knife Gertrude Hecker Winders Bowie, J William Bradford Pilgrim Boy Bradford Smith Bradford, W Anne Bradstreet Young Puritan Poet Montrew Dunham Bradstreet, Anne Jim Bridger Mountain Boy Gertrude Hecker Winders Bridger, J Luther Burbank Boy Wizard Burbank, L Richard Byrd Boy of the South Pole Guernsey Van Riper, Jr. Byrd, R Andrew Carnegie Young Steelmaker Joanne Landers Henry Carnegie, Andrew Kit Carson Boy Trapper Augusta Stevenson Carson, K George Carver Boy Scientist Augusta Stevenson Carver, G Walter Chrysler Boy Machinist Ethel H. Weddle Chrysler, W George Rogers Clark Boy of the Old Northwest  Katharine E. Wilkie Clark, George R Will Clark Boy in Buckskins Katharine E. Wilkie Clark, W Henry Clay Young Kentucky Orator  Helen Albee Monsell Clay, H Mark Twain Boy of Old Missouri Miriam E. Mason Clemens, S DeWitt Clinton Boy Builder Mabel Cleland Widdemer Clinton, DeWitt BUFFALO BILL Frontier Daredevil Augusta Stevenson 1948 Cody, William James Fenimore Cooper Leatherstocking Boy Gertrude Hecker Winders Cooper, J Davy Crockett Young Rifleman Aileen Wells Parks Crockett, Davy GEORGE CUSTER Boy of Action Augusta Stevenson Custer, G Virginia Dare Mystery Girl Augusta Stevenson Dare, V Jeff Davis Confederate Boy Lena Young deGrummond Davis, J Stephen Decatur Gallant Boy  Bradford Smith Decatur, S John Deere Blacksmith Boy Margaret Bare Deere, J Lee DeForest Electronics Boy Lavinia Dobler DeForest, L Cecil B. DeMille Young Dramatist  Hortense Myers  DeMille, Cecil B. George Dewey Vermont Boy Laura Long Dewey, G Babe Didrickson Girl Athlete  Lena Young deGrummond  Didrickson, Babe Joe DiMaggio Young Sports Hero Herb Dunn DiMaggio, J Walt Disney Young Movie Maker Marie Hammontree Disney, W Dorothea Dix Girl Reformer Grace Hathaway Melin Dix, Dorothea Mary Mapes Dodge Jolly Girl Miriam E. Mason Dodge, M Abner Doubleday Young Baseball Pioneer  Montrew Dunham Doubleday, Abner Frederick Douglass Boy Champion of Human Rights Elisabeth P. Myers Douglass, F AMELIA EARHART Young Aviator Beatrice Gromley Earheart, Amelia Amelia Earhart  Kansas Girl Jane Moore Howe Earheart, Amelia George Eastman Young Photographer  Joanne Landers Henry Eastman, G THOMAS A EDISON Young Inventor Sue Guthridge 1947 Edison, Thomas ALBERT EINSTEIN Young Thinker Marie Hammontree 1961 Einstein, Albert Dwight D. Eisenhower Young Military Leader Eisenhower, Dwight D Duke Ellington Young Music Master Martha Schaaf Ellington, Duke William Fargo Boy Mail Carrier Katharine E. Wilkie Fargo, W David Farragut Boy Midshipman Laura Long Farragut, David Harvey S. Firestone Young Rubber Pioneer Adrian Paradis Firestone, H John Fitch Steamboat Boy  Augusta Stevenson Fitch, J Henry Ford Boy with Ideas Hazel B. Aird  Ford, H Bedford Forrest Boy on Horseback Aileen Wells Parks Forrest, Bedford STEPHEN FOSTER Boy Minstrel Helen Boyd Higgins Foster, Stephen Ben Franklin Printer's Boy Augusta Stevenson Franklin, Benjamin Jessie Fremont Girl of Capitol Hill  Jean Brown Wagoner Fremont, J Robert Frost,   Boy with Promises to Keep Ellen Wilson Frost, R Robert Fulton Boy Craftsman Marguerite Henry Fulton, R LOU GEHRIG Boy to the Sand Lots Gehrig, Lou George Gershwin Young Composer Bernice Bryant Gershwin, G Robert Goddard  Pioneer Rocket Boy Clyde B. Moore Goddard, R U.S. Grant Young Horseman Augusta Stevenson Grant, U Nathanael Greene Independent Boy Howard Peckham Greene, N Nathan Hale Puritan Boy Augusta Stevenson Hale, N ALEC HAMILTON The Little Lion Helen Boyd Higgins Hamilton, Alexander John Hancock New England Boy Cathrine Seward Cleven Hancock, J Nancy Hanks Kentucky Girl  Augusta Stevenson Hanks, Nancy Joel Chandler Harris Young Storyteller Ethel H. Weddle Harris, J WILLIAM HENRY HARRISON  Young Tippecanoe Howard Peckham Harrison, William H. Bret Harte Young Storyteller  Janet Branham Harte, Bret Patrick Henry Boy Spokesman Thomas Frank Barton Henry, P James J. Hill Young Empire Builder Mildred Houghton Comfort Hill, J OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES, JR. Boy of Justice Montrew Dunham 1961 Holmes, Oliver Wendell, Jr. HERBERT HOOVER  Boy Engineer Mildred H. Comfort 1965 Hoover, Herbert Harry Houdini (Young Magician) Kathryn Kilby Borland Houdini, H SAM HOUSTON Boy Chieftain Augusta Stevenson Houston, Sam Elias Howe Inventive Boy Jean Corcoran Howe, E Julia Ward Howe Girl of Old New York Jean Brown Wagoner Howe, J Langston Hughes Young Black Poet Montrew Dunham Hughes, L Washington Irving Boy of Old New York  Mabel Cleland Widdemer Irving, W Andy Jackson Boy Soldier Augusta Stevenson Jackson, A Rachel Jackson  Tennessee Girl  Christine Noble Govan Jackson, R Tom Jackson  Young Stonewall Helen Albee Monsell Jackson, Thomas TOM JEFFERSON A Boy in Colonial Days Helen Albee Monsell 1939 Jefferson, Thomas Lyndon B. Johnson Young Texan Thomas Frank Barton Johnson, L John Paul Jones Salt-Water Boy Dorothea J. Snow Jones, J Chief Joseph Boy of the Nez Perce  Olive W. Burt Joseph Helen Keller Handicapped Girl  Katharine E. Wilkie Keller, H Francis Scott Key Maryland Boy Augusta Stevenson Key, F Martin Luther King, Jr. Boy with a Dream  Dharathula H. Millender King, M Robert E. Lee  Boy of Old Virginia Helen Albee Monsell Lee, R John L. Lewis Young Militant Labor Leader George Gershon Korson Lewis, J Meriwether Lewis Boy Explorer Charlotta M. Bebenroth Lewis, M Liliuokalani Young Hawaiian Queen Shirlee Petkin Newman Liliuokalani Abe Lincoln Frontier Boy  Augusta Stevenson Lincoln, Abraham Mary Todd Lincoln Girl of the Bluegrass  Katharine E. Wilkie Lincoln, M Robert Todd Lincoln President's Boy LaVere Anderson Lincoln, R Vince Lombardi Young Football Coach  Hortense Myers Lombardi, V Henry Wadsworth Longfellow  Grace Hathaway Melin Longfellow, H Juliette Low Girl Scout  Helen Boyd Higgins Low, J Dolly Madison Quaker Girl Helen Albee Monsell Madison, Dolly Francis Marion Young Swamp Fox  William O. Steele Marion, F John Marshall Boy of Young America Helen Albee Monsell Marshall, J Cyrus McCormick Farmer Boy Lavinia Dobler McCormick, Cyrus William H. McGuffey Boy Reading Genius Barbara Williams McGuffey, W Maria Mitchell Girl Astronomer Grace Hathaway Melin Mitchell, M James Monroe Good Neighbor Boy Mabel Cleland Widdemer Monroe, J Samuel Morse Inquisitive Boy Dorothea J. Snow Morse, S J. Sterling Morton Arbor Day Boy Clyde B. Moore Morton, J Lucretia Mott Girl of Old Nantucket  Constance Buel Burnett Mott, L John Muir Young Naturalist  Montrew Dunham Muir, J Edward R. Murrow Young Newscaster Hortense Myers Murrow, Edward Annie Oakley Little Sure Shot  Ellen Wilson Oakley, Annie Osceola Young Seminole Indian Electa Clark Osceola Robert Peary Boy of the North Electa Clark Peary, R WILLIAM PENN Friendly Boy Miriam E. Mason Penn, William J. C. Penney Golden Rule Boy Wilma J. Hudson Penney, J OLIVER HAZARD PERRY Boy of the Sea Laura Long Perry, O Zeb Pike Boy Traveler Augusta Stevenson Pike, Z Allan Pinkerton Young Detective Kathryn Borland Pinkerton, Allan Molly Pitcher Girl Patriot Augusta Stevenson Pitcher, M POCAHONTAS Brave Girl  Pocahontas Pontiac Young Ottawa Leader Howard Henry Peckham Pontiac JOSEPH PULITZER Boy Journalist  Pulitzer, J George Pullman Young Sleeping Car Builder Elisabeth P. Myers Pullman, G Walter Reed Boy Who Wanted to Know Helen Boyd Higgins Reed, W Frederick Remington Young Artist  Clyde B. Moore Remington, F PAUL REVERE Boy of Old Boston Augusta Stevenson 1946 Revere, Paul James Whitcomb Riley Hoosier Boy  Minnie Belle Mitchell Riley, J Knute Rockne Young Athlete Guernsey Van Riper, Jr. Rockne, K WILL ROGERS Young Cowboy Guernsey Van Riper, Jr. Rogers, W Eleanor Roosevelt Courageous Girl  Ann Weil Roosevelt, Eleanor Franklin Roosevelt Boy of the Four Freedoms  Ann Weil Roosevelt, F TEDDY ROOSEVELT Young Rough Rider  Edd Winfield Parks 1953 Roosevelt, Teddy BETSY ROSS Girl of Old Philadelphia Ann Weil 1954 Ross, Betsy Babe Ruth  Baseball Boy  Ruth, Babe Sacagawea Bird Girl Flora Warren Seymour 1945 Sacagawea Carl Sandburg,   Young Singing Poet Grace Hathaway Melin Sandburg, Carl Sequoyah  Young Cherokee Guide Dorothea J. Snow Sequoyah Sitting Bull Dakota Boy Augusta Stevenson Sitting Bull John Smith Jamestown Boy Thomas Frank Barton Smith, J Young Jed Smith Westering Boy Olive W. Burt Smith, Jed John Philip Sousa Marching Boy Ann Weil Sousa, J Squanto Young Indian Hunter Augusta Stevenson Squanto Myles Standish Adventurous Boy Augusta Stevenson Standish, M Adlai Stevenson Young Ambassador Ward, Martha E. Stevenson, Adlai Harriet Beecher Stowe Connecticut Girl Mabel Cleland Widdemer Stowe, H Jeb Stuart Boy in the Saddle Gertrude Hecker Winders Stuart, J PETER STUYVESANT Boy With Wooden Shoes Stuyvesant Zach Taylor Young Rough and Ready Katharine E. Wilkie Taylor, Z Tecumseh Shawnee Boy Augusta Stevenson Tecumseh Jim Thorpe Indian Athlete Guernsey Van Riper, Jr. Thorpe, J Harry S Truman Missouri Farm Boy Wilma J. Hudson Truman, H Harriet Tubman Freedom Girl Gertrude Hecker Winders Tubman, H Lew Wallace Boy Writer Martha E. Schaaf Wallace, L John Wanamaker Boy Merchant Olive W. Burt Wanamaker, J BOOKER T. WASHINGTON Ambitious Boy Augusta Stevenson Washington, Booker T. GEORGE WASHINGTON Young Leader Augusta Stevenson 1959 Washington, George Martha Washington Girl of Old Virginia  Jean Brown Wagoner Washington, M Anthony Wayne Daring Boy Augusta Stevenson Wayne, Anthony Dan Webster Union Boy  Bradford Smith Webster, Daniel Noah Webster Boy of Words Helen Boyd Higgins Webster, N Benjamin West Gifted Young Painter  Dorothea J. Snow West, Benjamin George Westinghouse Young Inventor  Montrew Dunham Westinghouse, G Narcissa Whitman Pioneer Girl Ann Spence Warner Whitman, N Eli Whitney Boy Mechanic Dorothea J. Snow Whitney, Eli Kate Douglas Wiggin The Little Schoolteacher Miriam E. Mason Wiggin, K WOODROW WILSON Boy President Helen Albee Monsell Wilson, W F. W. Woolworth Five and Ten Boy Woolworth WILBUR AND ORVILLE WRIGHT Young Fliers Augusta Stevenson Wright, Wilbur, Orville Brigham Young Covered Wagon Boy Polly Carver Jordan Young, Brigham JOHN PETER ZENGER Young Defender of Free Press  Zenger, J © 2013 Nancy L. Ruder

Reading till the ball drops

My final read of 2012 was David Egger's Hologram for the King. True, the year is not over. I might pull one more National Book Award nominee out of my sleeve. Still, Egger's book just sapped the energy out of me. Should we all just sit around wondering if that lump on our neck is a benign  cyst or a malignant tumor? For me the heart of the book was the question of creating/building/making/manufacturing tangible goods vs. the creation of technological illusions/digital smoke and mirrors.

Closer to the surface the Egger book is the story of a fifty-something man who thinks he is dying.  I've already read one fifty-something man who thinks he's dying book this year, and that one was more fun.  Jonathan Tropper's One Last Thing Before I Go has plenty to consider without slogging through the desert sands.

Books I hope to read in the coming year:

Fiction
Stockholm Octavo

Flight Behavior
Yellow Birds

Nonfiction

Spine of the Continent
Lost Carving
House of Stone
Let the Meatballs Rest
Consider the Fork

The library just got a dictionary of modern proverbs that looks fun for browsing.

Happy reading in 2013, and no, I never did make pie crust.


© 2012 Nancy L. Ruder

The Nancy Awards

My friend Jeannie can predict the Oscar winners every year.  Most years she has seen every movie nominated in a major category.  Most years I go to one movie max.

I went to see "Lincoln" at the movie theater, and enjoyed it greatly. The last time I'd gone to a movie theater was to see "The Conspirator" a year and a half ago.  Seems like Abe has to go to Ford's for me to go to Cinemark. I loved Daniel Day Lewis' interpretation of Lincoln as storyteller.  Sally Field was amazing--I completely believed her, but still remembered to go home and take my calcium pills. I never could cross over into total suspended disbelief for Tommy Lee Jones as Thaddeus Stevens.  Curmudgeon Tommy Lee was still crusty Tommy Lee, just with a bad wig and no sunglasses.

But now I present the Nancy Awards for the best new books I read all the way through during 2012.  I will have to add poetry, children's literature, and audiobooks to the awards in 2013, and maybe an old timers hall of fame.

Fiction

   


Nonfiction
    

I would laud on the praises for these memorable reads, but I need to fold laundry, make the Krunch, walk, make soup, vacuum, pay bills, and Skype with my grandbaby.  I'll just say they made me cry, get angry, laugh, feel wrapped in a cocoon of wonder, understand myself and others better.

Happy Sunday.

© 2012 Nancy L. Ruder

We have nothing to fear but puppeteers

And fear itself, and giants and fairs, oh my!  But we might be overreacting about dirt.

Been a rough couple weeks with very anxious preschoolers.  One little guy was totally freaked out by a visit to the State Fair of Texas, and could not nap for days. I don't think he was sleeping much at night, either, as he was in tears most of the week and barely able to function.  And no, the little dude did not witness Big Tex going up in flames.

I have my own state fair anxieties. What are normal fears at age three, four, five, fifty+?  Growing Up Brave: Expert Strategies for Helping Your Child Overcome Fear, Stress, and Anxiety, by Dr. Donna Pincus, was a good guide on this topic.  Good reminders for the Halloween season, too!

Normal fears for preschoolers, ages 3-5:

• Costumed characters
• Ghosts
• Clowns
• Monsters
• The dark
• Sleeping alone
• Separation anxiety
• Specific fears such as dogs, bugs, water, blood, or elevators

And for all ages, debilitating anxiety and excessive stress make kids unable to store and retrieve information, to focus, and therefore to learn.

A second student is absolutely terrified of puppets.  She can play with a puppet herself, but seeing a puppet show sends her into a massive panic attack. Just anticipating an upcoming puppet show sets her into terror. Rather than remove her before the puppet show, we are trying to give her the coping skills to ride it out and the cognitive tools to understand the situation.

As for dirt, I'm just beginning An Epidemic of Absence: A New Way of Understanding Allergies and Autoimmune Disorders, by Moises Velasquez-Manoff.  The hypothesis is that medical elimination of bacteria, viruses, and parasites has brought a new slew of ailments in the developed world.  Ignoring the evolutionary functions of these "bugs" may be contributing or causing the skyrocketing rates of peanut allergies, autism, inflammatory bowel diseases, eczema, rheumatoid arthritis, Type 1 diabetes, multiple sclerosis, and asthma.  The costs of these diseases are in the billions of dollars each year. 

The book reviews in the New York Times, Wall Street Journal and Kirkus have been very intriguing.









© 2012 Nancy L. Ruder

Red orbit

Struggling with my approach for art instruction with an incredibly young group of students this semester.  The smallest kiddies can just barely hold a pencil to scribble circles, and are inconsistent naming colors.

Stop worrying. Start with RED. That's what the voice said.

That voice is just the deep, stewy crockpot in my head, slowly simmering inspiration from seemingly random leftovers.

Can't tell my prefrontal cortex from my automatic ice cube maker, but I'm listening to the audiobook of Jonah Lehrer's How We Decide. The audiobook is fascinating, although reading the paperback kept putting me to sleep. How, oh how, am I going to teach art tomorrow?

Really red?  Just yesterday I posted about meaningless alliterative intensifiers, and "really" might be one in this situation.  What is the slow-cooker recipe for tomorrow's lesson? Stir it all together and see what happens!

A new Mars rover--Curiosity

My grandbaby reminds me of his dad's Red Rings toy from Johnson and Johnson back in 1982.

Outside my sliding door, Dad's colored rings hang from my birdfeeder hook. They used to hang in the dining area window. Pretty sure I bought the rings at the Dallas Arboretum and gave them to my folks.

Inside the condo, I unearthed a ziplock bag of red plastic peanut butter jar lids and other nesting lid sizes.

Paper-Pro Easy Punch 1-hole punch from Office Max chomping through ten sheets of paper. I'm impressed!

So, tomorrow night I hope to have photos of our art class red rings.

© 2012 Nancy L. Ruder

Thanks for all the frass

Whole lotta action on the patio!  It's a three-ring circus worthy of Sneelock, my spiritual advisor.


And just by the way of the way I'm okay today I say I'm very grateful for:

Play

And also:


To Dr. Seuss for the words and pictures.
To Dave Brubeck for the music.
To Cliff Hillegass for the roses, 
and Jerry Garcia for the rainbows.




To Ms. Janie and the other Ms. Janie for curiosity and compassion.
To the Woolly Mammoth for the macro world of digital photography.
To owls of Omaha, red-tailed hawks of Oklahoma, and the Allman Brothers for saving my life more than once.

To Gail Butt for rich, bright, and delicate.


To Dale and Norma for screened porch serenity, rope swing risk, sandbar simplicity, and fishing bobber patience.
To Bernd Heinrich and John Janovy for cosmic biology.
To Fritzi for the curse and gift of perfectionism.
To hummingbirds and anoles for joy.

This little anole is about 1/4 the size of that Giant Swallowtail caterpillar.  It is hopping from one mint leaf to the next, making the patio a tiny popcorn popper.





To Aunt Em for cursive perseverance.
To Coach for the opera backstage.
To Maurice Sendak and Pierre for care.
To Ms. Heather for wisdom and basil.
To Howie for graph paper and blue prints.


To all the red wiggler worms named Dave for taking it below ground.
To Juliet for being my artistic muse, O These Many Years.
To the Buick Skylark for hanging in there for 175,000 miles as my alter ego. I'd like to think it will emerge soon from its chrysalis transformed just like the caterpillars.

In all the whole world the most wonderful spot is right behind where you are in the big vacant lot. Clean up the cans!


It's a Barnum and Bailey world.  Grab onto the trapeze.




© 2012 Nancy L. Ruder


So long, and thanks for all the frass.