What happens to an avocado pit?

Never have had a speck of luck with Sputnik avocado pit sprouting. Whichever end is up is always wrong, although it would be incorrect to accuse the pit of spite.

Cannas love me by comparison. Pull them out midseason and toss the bulbs over the fence, give them no respect. Whichever, wherever way they land, they are sprouting again within a couple weeks.

Pineapples, gotta love 'em. Lop the top off. Stick the top in a pot of dirt and screw it down a bit like Donald Trump's toupee. The plant will grow handsome gray-green spikes in sun or shade until freezing weather comes. We've had one growing in our classroom for at least three years. True, it would be difficult to plant it upside down. That would be an uncomfortable toupee.

Once or twice since I encountered guacamole in college the pit I've thrown out in dispair has grown a foot and a half with four leaves before dying. In the jelly jar, nada. So I started throwing the pit into the worm composting bin along with the avocado peels.

Red wigglers get all excited about avocado peels. They use them for worm yurts, kivas, and hookah dens. They use eggshells for igloos, or put on thick spectacles and pretend to be Buckminster Fuller, those frolicking eisenia foetida!

What about the pits?  They break down very slowly, aided by the red worms and by harmless white mites that assist the decomposition process. Today I raked the pits out of the bin and threw them into my accidental garden.  I hold no expectations for their future.Maybe this is the year avocado pits dock with the International Space Station, but I'm not holding my breath. Critters have mowed off the volunteer tomato plants AGAIN. The mystery guest from the squash/melon family is taking over the patio and climbing the wire tomato cages. It tried to ensnarl the gas grill. There's a lime the size of a pencil top eraser growing on the teacher appreciation tree. Anole lizards are pleased with the situation.  Life is good, and decomposition is not bad, either.

© 2012 Nancy L. Ruder

Recalibrating expectations

What basic best practices benchmarks do you use to decide if your day belongs in the + or - column? This was not a stellar day in the preschool classroom. Still, I can honestly place it in the Hello, Win Column:

• Blood on the rug? I expected my adolescent sons to problem-solve and negotiate most situations themselves with out phoning me at work. I had a job to do, and they did, too. Their job was to avoid creating situations that could lead to permanent carpet stains and loss of damage deposits!


• Trip to the emergency room? As a play-date and birthday party mom, I rated any gathering of small children that didn't require tetanus shots, ice packs, insurance ID cards, or stitches as a success.


• Details at six? A day of parenting or teaching when I don't show up on the video footage from the local station is a good day.


• Bon Appétit? Anything I cook without alarming the smoke detector.

"Hello, Win Column" was the signature phrase of longtime Texas Rangers broadcaster Mark Holtz. It is also the name of a fund to host cancer patients and their families at Rangers games.

A stellar day does include some bird-watching. A Steller's Jay is darker than a blue jay, but has a similar crest and loud, harsh call. It lives in the western mountain regions of North America. The Steller's Jay is named after Georg Steller, a German naturalist who accompanied the Vitus Bering expedition to Alaska sponsored by Catherine the Great in the 1740's.

© 2008 Nancy L. Ruder