APB out for Maureen

Every morning I wake up, wipe the goo out of my eyes, start a pot of coffee, bring in the Dallas Morning News, and sit down at the computer to get my email while the coffee brews. Then, satisfied that the world is still more or less revolving and rotating the same as yesterday with Dallas under an orange Ozone Alert, I scroll through the New York Times online headlines all the way down to the op-eds at the bottom. If I'm lucky, there's a column by Maureen Dowd. When I don't know what to think about the outrageous state of the country, I appreciate Maureen's take on things. If I know exactly what I think, and am wondering why-I'm-not-in-charge-of-the-world [???], it's nice to see that Maureen backs me up.

That's why I'm so worried. Maureen has gone AWOL for several weeks now.

WANTED
Reward Offered

Come back to the Five and Dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean...
Come back to the New York Times, Dowd Maureen, Dowd Maureen!