I grew up in the Space Age with the Friendship Seven, and JFK challenging us, "Before this decade is out..." The Space Age seemed to promise that if I drank Tang like the astronauts, learned fractions and decimals, and did fifty sit-ups for the President's Physical Fitness Test each year, that the technological benefits of Our Race To The Moon would belong to me and my generation. We went to sleep each night secure in the belief that by the time we were old enough to work at Spaceley Sprockets, flying cars would be ready to get us there. Like his boy Elroy, we would have robot maids to make beds, and taking care of our homes would be as easy as pi.
Yes, some Space Age Technology did trickle down to those of us still earthbound. We got Teflon and no-wax floors, frost-free refrigerators (as long as our spouses didn't leave six-packs of diet Coke in the freezer overnight), microwave popcorn, fiber-optic Christmas trees, Velcro shoes that light up, 24-Hour fitness centers and titanium golf clubs, Stain Defender pants, Thanksgiving turkeys with pop-up thermometers, and self-cleaning ovens. We got computers, which I appreciate. We got MTV, Talk Radio, and grocery self-checkout lanes, and whose fault is that??? Okay, maybe not NASA's. But did we get the flying cars?
Through Space Age Bureaucratic Oversights we also didn't get:
1. Self-degreasing mini-blinds
2. Self-returning library books
3. A universal sizing system for clothes so if you wear a 10-12 in one brand at Foley's you wear a 10-12 in all brands at Mervyn's
4. Clean air in our cities
5. Leaf-blowers and weed-whackers that operate on Silent Drive
6. Dog poop atom-blasters so you don't have to take Spike for a walk and carry around a ziplock baggie of hot ....
7. Outfits like Jane and Judy Jetson's
8. Everlasting elastic in boxer shorts
9. Steerable grocery carts
10. An understanding of that view of Earth from the moon that we are all on the same small planet and need to be respectful of each other and our Mother.
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