Managing my money

I have made a lot of mistakes managing my money. I haven't squandered billions of dollars, mainly because I've never had enough to squander. The dumb things have always been because I didn't have enough money. Specifically, enough to pay the bills when they came due.

Quite possibly my dumbest money moment occurred in September of 2000. My oldest had just started college. His father suddenly decided that he would not pay ANYTHING for college. I can't really get into the complexities here, but it had something to do with vasectomy reversal and Armenia...

Anyway, I needed to deposit my paycheck and have money in my account REALLY BAD. Please learn from my mistake:

Should you ever happen to drive up to the night deposit drop of your bank with a deposit of checks that might keep your account above the drowning mark, and you find no deposit envelopes in the night deposit box, and you walk to the ATM and find no deposit envelopes there, either, don't succumb to the urge to dump out your Altoids in order to have a container for your deposit. It seems to goof up the bank's system, makes them think of bombs, and generally slows down your desperately needed deposit.

The deposit did not show up in my account. On the fourth day I was forced to call the bank and tell them that I was the idiot who put the Altoids box in the night deposit slot, and beg them to open the box and deposit the checks.

"Where did you deposit the, ahem, Altoids box?"
"In the night deposit at Parker and Custer Roads."
"I'm sorry, but we have closed that location."
"What? Huh? There's no sign or anything!"
"Well, it is closed. Let me see if anyone has checked the night deposit over there. Please hold........I'm sorry, ma'am, but they say the box isn't even there any more."
"But I put my checks in it on the thirty-first!"
"At Parker and Custer?"
"Yes! At the branch bank at Parker and Custer!"
"The branch bank?"
"Yes, the branch bank on the southwest corner of Parker and Custer. There weren't any envelopes in the drive-through ATM..."
"Oh. That branch bank. I'll call over there and ask them about the Altoids box. Please hold...."
"But, huh, what?"
"Ma'am, they say your checks were deposited this morning, and they did wonder about the Altoids box."
"But you said the branch was closed."
"That was our desk inside the Bag & Save grocery store on the northeast corner of Parker and Custer. It was closed, and the grocery store was closed."
"So the money is in my account? I am so confused."
"The money is there. Can I be of any other help?"
"I'm so, so, so, so sorry about the Altoids box...Were they afraid to open it? Was it stuck in the night deposit drop? Could they be sure to leave out plenty of envelopes at night from now on?"
"Thank you, ma'am, and have a nice day."