Goldilocks, phone home!

If you really squint through your bifocals, you can imagine my three phones as Papa Bear, Mama Bear, and the wee Baby Bear. There's my home phone, my "ancient" cell phone, and the free replacement cell phone. Like my Danger Baby at the zoo, I think I'll have to strap Baby Samsung tightly in it's stroller so it doesn't climb over the fence and fall into the prairie dog town exhibit.

My old Nokia didn't do any tricks. I'd had it six years, and had finally learned to add numbers to the phonebook, and to use the key guard. It's predecessor had been almost as big as my home phone, and was kept in the glovebox strictly for automotive emergencies, of which it saw more than its share. So this tiny Samsung is my third cell phone. It fits in my pocket, but I'm afraid I will forget it's there and run it through the laundry! I've spent several hours trying to comprehend the owner's manual and program my phone numbers. Now I've got to learn to actually make and receive calls. Another five years and I might figure out text messaging. I don't like to rush into things!

Programmed the numbers of my dad's neighbors in the phonebook. I sure hope I don't ever need them, but I wouldn't have to search for them in an emergency. Added the numbers for my children and siblings, coworkers and friends. I've heard tell that you can set up different telephone rings to signal different callers. Yeah, right. I expect to master that skill about the time Social Security really runs out of money. For now I'm settling for a ringing "Waltz of the Flowers".

As a child, my sister made the observation that a lady at church was so fat that her fingers would get stuck between the keys if she played the piano. Somehow, that became a scary recurring dream theme for me. Whenever I am in a dream disaster, my fingers become too fat to push the buttons on the phone. I can't ever call 911. Technology isn't the terror. I'm sure if we were still dialing my fingers would be stuck in the rotary phone.

It isn't that the buttons have become smaller as phones got more high tech. I put on my little leftover Science Fair Mom hat (and thank heaven I'm done with science fairs!). Did an on-site comparative analysis of phone button size. For once I have clear results showing Size Isn't Everything. It's all in the spacing. Phone button size hasn't changed much, but button density has increased significantly. By the way, my porridge is still TOO HOT!