Heavy metal

Back on Friday I posted a photo of fish-shaped collages using metallic texture materials. Today the class finished the scales and we made collograph prints. First we tried printing onto blue cellophane, but it didn't look particularly impressive. Quick switch to printing on black 18 x 24 inch construction paper, and the results were awesome. I will get photos posted ASAP because the prints are gorgeous. The project made use of lots of recycled materials, and taught cutting techniques for different materials. The collograph print and the texture collage are both neato keen.

We mixed a potion of black tempera, silver tempera, and gold washable printing ink on the printing plate (actually an old school cafeteria tray). The ink is too sticky and thick to roll onto the texture collage without the tempera added in. We used sponge brayers to ink the fish, then set the black paper on top of the fish, rather than inverting the fish. The prints turned out looking like brass rubbings from English tombs, delicate Japanese prints made with real fish, and industrial schematic/robotic diagrams rolled into one.

Japanese fish prints are a really great idea if you aren't the art teacher. When I first started teaching, our school director got all gung-ho about the educational value of having preschoolers make fish prints. I'm thankful to this day that I dodged that bullet. My friend wasn't so lucky. She got stuck buying a very large and scaly fish from a fresh fish market, and trying to make prints with kids totally creeped out by the slimy, smelly fish. Nowadays you can buy fake rubber fish from the art and school supply catalogs to teach this alleged nature/art/cultural awareness project.

My friend went on to be a compost educator. I always wonder about that Thanksgiving story about Indians teaching the Pilgrims to put a fish in the hole for each corn seed planted. Okay, I'm kind of vague on the details, not being in third grade any more. Still, I bet she was glad to get rid of that big, inky fish in some dirt hole.

When I was actually married and a new mom to boot, my ex went into a transition phase back to vegetarianism. His diet included Diet Coke, M&Ms, donuts, homegrown garden vegetable gazpacho made in the blender and unfortunately sprayed all over the kitchen, fish and seafood from the "Fresh Fish Truck" found in a parking lot in downtown Omaha.

One evening he brought home squid. Some folks might get all rapturous and poetic about calimari. Indeed, I teach gourmet first-graders who compare and contrast kinds of squid. My experience was a like choking down sections of garden hose.

The squid was nothing compared to the Big Fish. My ex, in triumphant returning hunter mode, brought home a Big Fish. He attempted to de-bone and de-scale this monster. Things didn't work out. They REALLY didn't work out. He scraped the mess on the cutting board down the drain into the garbage disposal. The bones and scales got stuck in the disposal. REALLY stuck. Attempts to dislodge the bones were unsuccessful for DAYS and WEEKS. Imagine the aroma! Imagine it at breakfast time! Imagine it with no money to hire a repairman.