1/29/06

What's Inside Drawer Number Three?

Preferred Provider lists for 1999
Benefit Outline for an insurance company I had in 1997
Warranties for appliances that bit the dust before 2000
Envelopes for mailing contributions to my retirement savings account--yeah, sure
Day-by-day peak flow meter readings for two sons with asthma beginning in 1988
A fat notebook of members and rules for the babysitting coop we grew out of in 1993
Patty cake hand rhymes from Omaha Public Library storytimes in 1985-87
Time sheets and expense records for a job I left nine or ten years ago
Numerous booklets from high school guidance counselors about college applications

It's clean-out-the-file cabinets weekend at the CollageMama House of Clutter. I've made a dent, but there are miles to go before I sleep. Then, next weekend I hope to tackle my teaching files and sample boxes. Those image files will be tougher to cull.

My brain is a strange battle between everything in alphabetical order and save every inspiring scrap. A paralyzing effect has kicked in. I've lost the ability to be either organized or creative. God knows what this junk is for:

Mary Chapin Carpenter
Almost Home

I saw my life this morning
Lying at the bottom of a drawer
All this stuff I'm saving
God knows what this junk is for
And whatever I believed in
This is all I have to show
What the hell were all reasons
For holding on for such dear life
Here's where I let go

I'm not running
I'm not hiding
I'm not reaching
I'm just resting in the arms of the great wide open
Gonna pull my soul in
And I'm almost home

I saw you this morning
You were looking straight at me
From an ancient photograph
Stuck between letters and some keys
I was lost just for a moment
In the ache of old goodbyes
Sometimes all that we can know is
There's no such thing as no regrets
Baby it's all right

I'm not running
I'm not hiding
I'm not reaching
I'm just resting in the arms of the great wide open
Gonna pull my soul in
And I'm almost home

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