Expansion packs

Is it REAL Life, or is it The Sims?

I think when you purchase either TurboTax or The Sims you should be able to send in your receipt from Best Buy and the UPC code from the box to get a new, more realistic expansion pack called TurboTax Sims. All the action in your Sims game should be tallied up on a running TurboTax worksheet in a pulldown window. Sim families need to suffer the tax implications of their jobs, marriages, mortgages, and little dependents.

If you check the box on your income tax return to contribute to political campaigns, you should be allowed to download The Sims Oval Office for free. Instead of all the neighbors visiting and expecting to be fed pizza when you are still moving into your new house, they should arrive for a White House briefing and press conference with their little Sim microphones and big cameras. Can't you see the Sim kids running around berserk in the Rose Garden for the traditional Easter egg roll doing their little electronic giggles?

Met your health insurance deductible? Get your bonus Sims Health Care expansion pack for just the amount of one office visit copay. Your Sims can have sonograms, MRIs, and treadmill stress tests, go broke buying prescriptions, lose time away from jobs in doctors' waiting rooms, and spend hours stuck in insurance company phone menus.

And let's talk about the music options, and get the issue out in the open. The Sims need music transfer and downloading options (with corresponding wardrobes). My Sims would not be nearly as suicidal if they could play better music. Buddy Holly Sims, Allman Bros. Sims, Led Zep Sims, U2 Sims, Deadhead Sims....

Consider the possibilities of corporate merchandising tie-ins. Buy Calgon for you, get a free download "Take Me Away" for your Sim mommy. Martha Stewart decor and party choices..."This Old House" or "Queer Eye" visit your Sims...Jimmy Buffett parrot head downloads...each Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue includes a limited edition Simsuit cd....

How will we pay for all these Sim improvements, you may wonder. By creating Nascar Sims! Every surface of your Sims' home and wardrobe wil be plastered with brand names and corporate logos. Even the schoolbus will have Dr. Pepper advertising on the side. Be sure to go shopping for your Sims to get the John Madden turkey with thirteen legs every Thanksgiving.