My annual ragweed allergies have crossed over to the Dark Side. My sinuses feel jam packed with steel wool and rubber cement. My ears have sharp twingies, and my throat is raw. My hearing is impaired by stuffed Hostess Twinkies. I'm hot, chilled, drowsy, and unable to sleep. My over-the-counter pills let me watch multicolored floating discs battle the forces of evil whenever I stand up too fast. Still, it's better than watching "Charmed" on TNT at the beauty salon.
"Charmed" airs on TNT at the afterschool hour, no doubt attractive to preteens. An alleged tale of three sister witches working for good in San Francisco, it is the only show that has ever made me wish I could change channels to "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" for something more realistic. The sisters beam themselve up, conjure masseuse demons, and battle star-throwing hypnotized hellions in bustieres.
At the beauty salon you are trapped watching t.v. while listening to AM radio full blast. The stylists speak Chinese, and the salon owner carries on about hunky Dallas Cowboy football players, jet skis, and her mother's inoperable conditions.
I long for wholesome Samantha of "Bewitched", Captain Kirk, and Hostess Cupcakes. Many parents may long for the same now that over-the-counter cold medicines have been banned for kids under the age of six.
© 2007 Nancy L. Ruder
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