Australian sinusitis

I can't worry about the Asian bird flu right now. Too busy fighting my boomerang sinus infection. After a week of feeling great, all the symptoms returned overnight in a far uglier, brutish version, the sequel to a teen horror movie, no plot, no dialogue, just oozing special effects. This is not an aspersion on the Land Down Under with which I am quite fascinated. It's just that the sinus pain returned like a returning boomerang--swish, swish, swish, swish, CLONK! Plus, when I bend over to find the pan in the cupboard to heat up my soup I get all woozy and see little spots. The soup is good homemade beef vegetable though.

"I can't worry about avian flu," my friend said over coffee. "I'm too busy adjusting the thermostat for my hot flashes."

"I'm worried about bird flu," says my older co-worker. "I'm probably too young to get a flu shot."

As I read the National Geographic, I wonder if the Bush Administration can understand and accept the science of mutating viruses enough to admit there's a threat. Does it just muse from inside its bubble that an Intelligent Designer is finally going to wipe out those annoying folks who couldn't buy their way into an Ivy League school?

Halloween approaches. The first version of my sinus infection felt like the knife in the skull that my kids loved wearing to trick or treat.

The boomerang sequel resembles those creepy Muscovy ducks that plague the Dallas-Fort Worth Standard Metropolitan Statistical Area. The black/white/& red all over ducks that populate the pond at the senior high school, your corporate headquarters fountain, country clubs, and city parks... The ones with the blistery red faces and very bad hair that look like they escaped from Chernobyl....yeah, those! You may call them "turkey ducks", or you may call for the Goose Busters.

Muscovy ducks are frequently a problem in urban and residential areas, besides being as ugly and aggressive as a virulent sinus infection. They didn't arrive from Australia, but originated in South America. Muscovy ducks are not protected by Federal and State agencies. They chase children, defecate enough to make a sidewalk treacherous, and have sexual tendencies too disgusting for this PG blog. They are bad news!

I hope to blast the boomerang duck sinus infection to the moon with a new round of medications and decongestants. If you need a Halloween costume idea, consider the scary Muscovy duck! As soon as I feel better and quit seeing those little spots, I promise to worry about avian flu.