Comfort Food for Parole

One of these days I'll become a maven convicted of insider trading and sentenced to house-arrest. I'm looking forward to the house-arrest part, except for the ankle bracelet.

One of the ways my former spouse thought I could save our marriage was by wearing an ankle bracelet with a little heart charm. Usually when people think "romance" they don't think "Montgomery Wards", but that was where my ex charged two identical ankle bracelets. He brought one-stop shopping to a whole new level. I read the credit card statement with interest.

During my house arrest, I plan to eat macaroni and cheese like my mom used to make.

You need a three quart saucepan with a lid and a double-boiler. You also need a three quart Pyrex or Corning Ware casserole dish, and a colander.

Fill the saucepan 2/3 full with water. Cover and heat to boil. Add a teaspoon of cooking oil, and a package of large elbow macaroni. Boil 2 minutes stirring and watching. If the water starts to boil over, lift the pan off the burner and turn the burner down a bit. After two minutes remove from burner and cover saucepan with lid. Set timer for ten minutes.

Use this time wisely to grease the bottom and sides of the casserole dish. Cut or slice 16 oz. of Kraft Deluxe American cheese (one small box). When timer dings, drain the macaroni in the colander in the sink and rinse it with cold water. Put the drained macaroni in the casserole dish.

Put two cups of water in the saucepan, and set the double-boiler pan into the saucepan. (You don't have to wash the saucepan first.) Turn the burner on High. Melt a 1" chunk of butter or oleo in the boiler pan with 1 tablespoon flour, two good shakes each from a Worchestershire bottle and a Tabasco bottle. Add a pinch each of dry mustard and garlic powder. As it heats, stir ingredients into a paste. Turn the heat down to Medium-Low as soon as steam starts escaping from under the boiler pan. The double-boiler keeps the sauce from scalding, and is a very energy efficient way to cook.

Stir two tablespoons of milk into the paste until smooth, then two more, and two more. Stir occasionally as the mixture begins to thicken. Add a cup of milk into the boiler pan and stir until smooth and the consistency of sauce. Then add a few slices of cheese. Stir.

Add two and a half more cups of milk and the rest of the cheese a little bit at a time, stirring occasionally. When it's all smooth, pour it over the macaroni in the casserole dish. Add more milk if the sauce isn't up to the top of the macaroni. Sprinkle grated cheddar cheese on the top, and shake paprika over it. Paprika makes it brown pretty.

Bake in a 350 degrees preheated oven for 50-60 minutes. If you want to get fancy, take casserole out of oven after 40 minutes. Put tiny dabs of butter (1/4" cubes) on the top of the cheese about every two inches, then sprinkle bread crumbs lightly over the top. Finish baking.

Cover and refrigerate leftovers. Individual servings can be frozen to nuke in the employee lunchroom.

The yummiest way to reheat leftovers is in a small skillet on a medium burner. Melt 1T butter or margarine in the skillet, or heat 1T vegetable oil. Add the mac and cheese. Chop and turn the mac and cheese with a spatula as it heats and gets a bit crispy. The aroma will overcome existential angst and urban alienation in the Post Industrial Age. Serve with ketchup or chilled cranberry jelly.