Amazing Wonder Stories is a book we kids read at the breakfast table all about worms of THE FUTURE. Nothing like a bowl of two shredded wheat biscuits with two heaping teaspoons of white sugar floating in the bluish skim milk to start the day right. KFOR Radio droned the local news and farm report in the background as the "shattered wheat" slowly changed from inedible haystack to incredible Blob.
Home from school for lunch we sit on the tile floor of the basement at the house next door drinking Chocolate Quik, eating hot dogs or tuna fish sandwiches, and watching Twilight Zone reruns. Giant ants. Black and white tv. Alien abductions. Worse, the dark laundry room and wood shop workbench behind the curtained doorway. You get scared, kid, you gotta go upstairs to the bathroom and risk meeting the irritable mother of the house.
Jump into the time machine, boys and girls, and travel with me to THE PRESENT DAY. Enter the circular parking lot at a favorite park in your cream puff low-mileage used car. Only later will we realize how obvious a landing site this is for armies of revenge-seeking giant Frosted Mini-Wheats from outer space.
Yes, the disciplined invaders began their march from the circle's center. It is important to note that this estimate is preliminary, and may be revised as more data is obtained.
METEOR HITS EARTH
BUT ASTEROID MISSES
NASA says the meteor hit is unrelated to the asteroid miss. Yes, the last two are real, but don't let your cereal get soggy. Don't say you weren't warned.
* Being of a certain age, Reagan always made me think of ray guns.
© 2013 Nancy L. Ruder
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