I've yet to see the beautiful dental hygienist (and amateur sleuth) with her latex gloves, sharp tools, and sharper wit, Floss Dailey, solve perilous periodontic puzzles. With a ghost writer and some technical advisors, I think we could milk this for twenty titles at least:
- Root Canal in which Floss discovers the naughty inspiration for her husband's tooth whitening overdose.
- Can You Feel This? Still numb from the divorce, Floss meets a cute neurologist and dreams of comfortable shoes.
- Baby Teeth Floss's duplex neighbors have teething triplets.
- Bite Down Please A "Shark Week" on cable t.v. inspires Floss to decorate the ceiling of her exam room with National Geographic shark pictures.
- Keep Wiggling Floss's boss, The Great Gummy Bear, a rotund dental softy, finds his personal cause, founding No Baby Tooth Left Behind, to provide cute plastic containers for low income kids whose teeth fall out at school.
- Canines & Molars Floss's ex, "The Glare," nicknamed for his serious overdose on tooth whitener and blazing inability to pay child support on time, gets a pit bull.
- Brush Three Times Floss wins a hygienist's convention door prize, a vacation to Las Vegas to see Tony Orlando and Dawn.
- Grit Your Teeth Floss accompanies her boss, The Great Gummy Bear to a dentists' convention in Atlanta.
- Swish & Spit Floss becomes friends with a gay novacaine sales rep.
- Overbite Floss starts selling her original line of hygienist scrubs on her website--in TRex, Arctic Wolf, Crocodile, Chained Pit Bull, Amazon Piranha, Shark, and Ankle-biter Toddler print fabrics, but finds she has no time left for her children.
- No Cavities Floss's precocious preschool daughter becomes the star of a rainbow sparkle gel toothpaste ad campaign.
- Panoramic X-Rays Floss cleans Tony Hillerman's teeth while taking a well-earned vacation across the American Southwest.
- Waiting Room Fish Floss finds dentures buried in the aquarium gravel.
- No Candy "The Glare" begs Floss to get back together so a sweet someone will pick up his suits from the dry cleaners.
- A Little Sensitive Floss's best friend from high school, a sculptress working in conceptual orthodontic wire, is arrested in a gallery murder case.
- Deep Pits Floss meets a mysterious informant when she calls the PayPal tech support 1-800 help number.
- Gingivitis Floss's ex remarries, but not to Mary Ann.
- Receding Gumshoes Floss cleans the teeth of a former police detective now suffering from Alzheimers.
- Plaque Fights Back Receiving an award from the National Dental Fashion League starts Floss on a race to prevent copycat designs from flooding the scrub market.
- Partial Plates Cleaning the teeth of a geologist leads to a seismic weekend in California with an underscoring tectonic romance. Carole King has signed to write the "I Feel the Earth Move Under My Teeth."
- The Fluoride Treatment Floss has to deal with an unethical, scandal-mongering tv station when she solves her latest mystery.
- Impacted Wisdom Floss communicates by a system of nods and blinks to help an elderly stroke victim solve a dental mystery.
- Caps & Crowns Floss's sullen adolescent son graduates from high school.
- Drilling for Gold Floss learns her ancestors filled cavities in the California Gold Rush and Texas Wildcat oil fields.
- See You In Six Months Soon to be a major motion picture with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.
- I'll Love You for Efferdent A made-for-tv movie about high-school sweethearts who meet sixty years later in their dentist's waiting room.
No comments:
Post a Comment