12/15/04

Theme decor

My condo is not really a theme park. So why have we returned to the Automotive Living Room decor??? I got rid of the battery, and then the case of Valvoline. Yet for the past week I've had two black floormats from the '91 Beached Whale 300ZX plunked in the middle of the living room. If Architectural Digest were to feature us, they would write in glowing terms about our neo-post-demolition-modern-autodestruct repetition welding the interior to the panoramic vista outside the windows. In real life, I would say that the clearly delineated floormats on the carpet poetically reflect the enigmatic growing oil spots on the parking spaces. If that ain't feng shui, take a whiff of my shoes. They had an encounter with a crazed back-splashing nozzle at the gas station. My fashion scents complement my design sense. It's a wonder my name isn't embroidered on my shirt pocket. Maybe I could market designer candles with scents for gasoline, transmission fluid, ArmorAll, just-mopped truckstop restrooms, vinyl upholstery mildew, and well-aged fast food sacks.

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