Elvis Skipped Hobby Lobby

I met up with him in the beads and doo-dahs aisle at Michael's Craft Store this afternoon. He had the sideburns, the hairdo, the slimy black outfit. I knew it was him. The King. Elvis.

I was looking for doo-dahs to commemorate the preschool summer school study of the United States and our state of Texas, and possibly our future unit about the Olympics. Elvis seemed to be looking for sequins and sparkly stars. He seemed nice enough, for a deceased rock icon, but a bit preoccupied.

I'd already browsed JoAnn's Craft Store, the Dollar Store, and Hobby Lobby in my unsuccessful search. At Hobby Lobby the employees were setting up the Christmas display. That kind of nauseated me, so I was feeling a tad "peaked" when I got to Michael's. Elvis didn't resemble his later life postage stamp, so he must have been off his feed. Neither of us could be described as "puny", although we might not have been "up to par". Elvis and I aren't exactly wearing petite sizes these days, even if he is a mere shadow of his former self.

puny adj. Of inferior size, strength, or significance; weak.

peak-ed adj. Having a sickly, pale, or emaciated appearance; drawn.

off one's feed Have no desire to eat, have lost one's appetite. Originating in the early 1800s and first used only for animals, this colloquial term later was applied to humans as well.

up to par At the usual or expected standard. When your work is up to par we can review your salary again. Are your computer skills up to par?
Usage notes: often used in the form not up to par: She hasn't been up to par since the beginning of last week.

Kind of scary, really. Ashen Presley impersonators golfing and shopping for baubles.
Sure hope Elvis had more luck on his shopping trip than me.

© 2008 Nancy L. Ruder