Reptile ramps and overpasses

Leaping lizards in the HOV lanes! It's crazy traffic out on the patio this afternoon.

The anoles are using the horizontal cross pieces of the wood privacy fence to scurry from one condo patio to the next at three different levels. The lizards travelling on the top board of the six-foot fence seem to be the largest reptiles, and they do lots of neck-poof bling-displaying to make sure everyone knows they are Very Important Lizards. Sort of like Hummer drivers.

The mid-level lizards crisscrossing on the four foot horizontal seem to have the most personality. They vary from bright green to copper. They skulk, twirl their mustaches, swish their capes, and add dramatic pauses to their commutes. They seem glad not to be driving their wife's minivans, and pretend they are cruising in the batmobile. They leap into the shrubs when a Hummer lizard decides to take a power detour on a vertical fence post.

Very small lizards venture out on the lowest cross piece from behind the shrubs. They are mostly stressed and brown in color. They travel as fast as they can, but still look as if they left their coffee Go-cup on the top of the car and completely forgot their briefcase. Some of them still have toilet paper stuck on their shoe. When a lizard on the next crosspiece up does a Vincent Price impersonation, the low level lizards leap down into the ground cover.

All this patio needs is a live rush-hour traffic helicopter report....and maybe a tow-truck.

© 2008 Nancy L. Ruder