Been having wild dreams with and/or without giant rodents/ex-husband/airport rental car returns/Escher staircases/artificial resuscitation lately. For several nights, actually mornings, I've been waking at exactly 3:38. Get back to sleep and it's time to get up.
Started the pot of coffee at 5:15, and went to check my email. Great Hairy Pink Hostess Snowballs and other @!*~% cuss words! Internet Explorer couldn't find the server. Five twenty was a ridiculous time to be sitting under my computer desk unplugging and plugging cords on the back of the Hewlett Packard and using Professor Howard Hill's revolutionary Think System to restart the cable internet.
First time I've ever called my cable internet tech service number before six a.m., but I can report that "Josh" was very polite and helpful. Maybe he was in a time zone two mugs of coffee ahead of CDT, lucky dog. I'm pretty sure he wasn't in India.
"Josh," I said, "My internet is down. I'm afraid my entire neighborhood has been wiped out by aliens or a cataclysmic event while I was sleeping, but it's too dark to realize it yet."
"No, that's only in Chicago," Josh said.
"Huh??? Chicago was wiped out by aliens while I was sleeping??" Josh patiently explained about the flooding in Chicago disrupting cable internet service. I was embarrassed to flunk this current events quiz. I hoped I wouldn't be sent back to eighth grade.
My internet connection restored itself before Josh had a chance to intervene with his magical tech desk talents. He asked how else he might help me, but solving my life and telling me what I should be if I grow up are beyond his powers. We shared a good laugh and I felt lucky for my previous inconvenience. It was novel and fun to talk to another live human so early in the a.m. Hot dog, I feel lucky!
Headed out to the dumpster about 7:15 with the trash. Happened to glance at the Buick and the observation slowly percolated into my brain -- that front tire is really, REALLY low. How lucky! Most mornings I'm halfway to work in my mental fog before I even notice the gas gauge.
Glad to drive the two miles over to Discount Tire looking into a neon red rising sun in a pale lilac sky, just thrilled there's enough air so I'm not driving on the rim. I'm only slightly over the edge, but not on the rim. No time for breakfast or making the bed, no sack lunch prepared, no cash in my wallet! I've got an 8:45 class to teach. Jose removes a screw from the tire, and gets me back on the road only slightly late.
It's six blocks to my nearest branch bank, but a mile and a half as the crow flies to navigate old downtown Plano's one-way streets. The ATM is out of order. My luck is holding steady. Perhaps the ATM thinks it is in Chicago with Josh or with giant rodents on escalators. I have to write a check in the drive-through to get some lunch money. The teller is another friendly morning person. Maybe she is Josh's perky twin sister.
When I get to class, just a few minutes late but entirely breakfastless, my little students ask if we will make "flat tire art". Not today, but maybe soon! Maybe Discount Tire would have some tire tread pieces for print-making!
I feel lucky having so many little students fully engaged in our art project. My stomach growls. I feel lucky that I can go pick up "a burrito and a Barq's" for a very late breakfast. I'll never forget the first time I heard Mary Chapin Carpenter's song, "I Feel Lucky", on the radio of a rental car in Albuquerque driving to the Petroglyph Monument. No flat tire that day, just keys locked in a rental car by a giant rodent hanta virus then-spouse:
Well I woke up this morning,
stumbled out of my rack
I opened up the paper to the page in the back
It only took a minute for my finger to find
My daily dose of destiny, under my sign
My eyes just about popped out of my head
It said "the stars are stacked against you girl, get back in bed"
I feel lucky, I feel lucky, yeah
No Professor Doom gonna stand in my way
Mmmmm, I feel lucky today
Well I strolled down to the corner,
gave my numbers to the clerk
The pot's eleven million
so I called in sick to work
I bought a pack of Camels,
a burrito and a Barq's
Crossed against the light,
made a beeline for the park
The sky began to thunder,
wind began to moan
I heard a voice above me saying,
"girl, you better get back home"
But I feel lucky, oh oh oh, I feel lucky, yeah
No tropical depression gonna steal my sun away
Mmmmm, I feel lucky today
Now eleven million later,
I was sitting at the bar
I'd bought the house a double,
and the waitress a new car
Dwight Yoakam's in the corner,
trying to catch my eye
Lyle Lovett's right beside me
with his hand upon my thigh
The moral of this story,
it's simple but it's true
Hey the stars might lie,
but the numbers never do
I feel lucky, oh oh oh, I feel lucky, yeah
Hey Dwight, hey Lyle, boys, you don't have to fight
Hot dog, I'm feeling lucky tonight
I feel lucky, brrrrr, I feel lucky, yeah
Think I'll flip a coin, I'm a winner either way
Mmmmmm, I feel lucky today
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