Beatles' Stewardesses

From tempera paint to Techno Woman! Whoo. Whoo. Whoo! I managed to make a link turn underline blue in the mysterious realm of html. Just visualize Granny from the "Beverly Hillbillies" making a guest appearance on "Mission Impossible". Be sure to visualize it in black and white on a 15" screen. Squint at it while drinking Quik chocolate milk and eating a tuna salad sandwich on Wonder Bread down in the neighbor's basement among framed National Geographic maps, souvenirs from The War In The Pacific, and dressmakers' forms. The smell of a baking Duncan Hines chocolate cake should lurk on the fringes of your consciousness.

Barbara Feldon. Agent 99. Great hair. Great voice. Smarter than Maxwell. That is who I wanted to be when I grew up.

Spent many happy Sixties hours playing "The Beatles' Stewardesses" with the three other girls on the block in my grade. As stewardesses, we had to dress up in sparkly plastic Cinderella shoes, old, itchy petticoats, and Julie's grandma's ancient fox furs with the eyes, teeth, and claws. We had to be so charming that the Beatles couldn't help but fall in love with us. There are probably sociology and psychology masters theses examining "Tribal Status as Predicted by Childhood Imaginary Beatle Boyfriend". So as to foster a spirit of openness in this blog, I must reveal that I was always George's girlfriend. I was very sad when he died forty years after our idyllic imaginary romance.

This is Julie's 48th birthday. She was always Paul's special stewardess. We played this game on the basement stairs, while listening to her big sister's LPs on the family stereo that was as big as a house trailer. It was just like the cardboard stereo in Barbie's Dream House! When we got tired of catering to the Fab Four's in-flight whims, we adjorned to the "mud room" to drink warm bottles of Coke, and eat potato chips from a large cardboard tub. My fondness for the burnt chips confirmed my status as George's girlfriend. John's imaginary girlfriend grew up to write contracts for industrial carpeting and Christian romance novels. Paul's girlfriend is the hostess in her husband's Mexican restaurant. Ringo's girlfriend achieved professional success despite that early stigma.

I'm hearing "A Taste of Honey", but smelling Julie's cat's litter box. I'm a day tripper....