The Accidental Avocado

It is always a holiday when avocados are two for a dollar! Forget Christmas, Festivas, and the BCS. It is time for Guacamolefest, when all the Roos down in Rooderville consume all they can of that perfect food of the gods. Especially yours truly, Cindy Lou Roo.

Last evening Cindy Lou kept adding more avocados to the guac almost as fast as it was being consumed by the celebrants. Carols were playing (okay, if you count Led Zep). Bite-size Tostitos were falling, dusting Plano with a picturesque holiday glow.

When it was Cindy Lou's turn to ingest that magical, euphoria-inducing dish, she sat down in her favorite kitchen chair (the one looking out over the rooftops of Rooderville). She had consumed just enough guacamole to see the landing lights on the approach to Nirvana, when totally without warning, the chair snapped off a leg. Cindy Lou was thrown backwards into the kitchen onto her bazuzzi, whamming her head into the cabinet, and bashing up both elbows, wrists, and thumbs somehow.

Can you say, "ejection seat"? Can you picture demon-possessed home furnishings? Can you pull me up off the floor and get me some Tylenol? Fortunately, Jeff could, and he also lassoed the evil chair and took it to the dumpster. Fortunately, he didn't laugh, and was very concerned! I scraped the guac off my face and clothes feeling very sad. I think it was Dan Quayle who said, "An avocado is a guaful thing to waste."

Today I've been out spending my bonus on some new kitchen chairs. I hope they haven't gone over to the Dark Side, but there is no clear test available without posterior risk. I did buy seat cushions for the chairs since I'm going to need them for a few days. Cindy Lou Roo is thinking about getting air bags, too.

Whatever your holiday, practice moderation, and happy landings!